We can talk it so good
We can make it so divine
We can talk it good, how you wish it would be all the time
This dream isn’t feeling sweet
We’re reeling through the midnight streets
And I’ve never felt more alone
Feels so scary getting old
The lyrics above are from my favorite song by Lorde. The last line reigns with truth. It feels so scary getting old. I haven’t had the time in the past months to write, mainly from lack of content and will to do so. School became hectic, what with me being in 6 AP classes and having no time other than to work, run, or study for my tests, I couldn’t fathom writing any posts. But here I am today, informing you of past endeavors.
On June 4, 2014, I took my first steps into adulthood, I graduated from High School, with honors, and shared a proud moment with my parents. Although it still hasn’t hit me that it’s over, I’ll miss the people and the experiences I was given at Elsinore High. Here are some snap shots of the dinner we has after graduation.
I haven’t done much since then. Just worked a couple times and doing whatever possible to pass the time. To which, I’ve been able to acquire a new habit of reading at a remarkable pace. Within the last week I’ve read two books by John Green, granted I know his works aren’t too difficult to follow, I still think this is quite the accomplishment. I read Looking for Alaska , which I loved and broke my heart to read. Then I read the ever so infamous Fault In Our Stars , which I read with great intent and read in the personal record time of 3 days, I loved the book, hated the ending. I didn’t like the ending mainly because I felt that it lacked luster, that or because I was side tracked, having finished reading the book while waiting to see my mom in the ER.
Right now I’m writing this at 7:12 in the morning on Tuesday, June 17, 2014, having been awake since 4 to relieve my dad of watch duty in my moms hospital room, so that he could go to work. I’ve been thinking and trying to find the silver lining in all of this, so I apologize for the typos or errors in writing.
Yesterday, at around 4 I received a phone call from my cousin telling me my mom was on her way to the hospital via ambulance. I hadn’t the slightest idea what could possibly be wrong, and I still don’t know. I spent most of the night with her and went home at midnight to catch a couple z’s before I had to come back. She wasn’t able to speak or move when I first saw her I the ER, but as of this morning she’s able to speak and move, she even told me I had to go pay a bill for her. I’m still worried because they don’t know what caused whatever happened to her, only that her potassium dropped drastically and that her blood pressure was high. I’m just thankful she’s still with us. I’ve been knitting because there’s really nothing else to do, but it feels good to have the yarn back in my hands and the needles manipulating it to make the beginnings of a sock. I just needed to talk, and writing this is helping to escape what’s happened. I hope you are all having a good morning.
“Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn’t hurt the untroubled spirit either.”
― Elizabeth Zimmermann